Tossing batting practice….because Charlie Zink was too tired and battered to write this column for me.

I decided to skip some writing tonight because with women’s gymnastics dominating the coverage, I was afraid too much writing about these Chinese gymnasts would force me to register somewhere for something.

Ok, one comment, when the girls look like they couldn’t pass a field sobriety test on the balance beam, they probably can’t expect gold.

I want to personally apologize to Cat Osterman for accidentally confusing her for Monica Abbott to start tonight’s softball showdown between Australia and the US, a rematch of the 2004 gold medal game.

Tanya Harding, no not that one, is in the circle (remember there is no hill) for Australia, and she looks to have aged about as well as the Tonya Harding the rest of America is familiar with, i.e. not well.

She claims to be 36, but either the sun hasn’t been good to her down under, or she’s was born at the same hospital that verified Miguel Tejada’s birth certificate.

I’m willing to admit it, you know you’re a softball nerd when you’re curious about which bat, every player is swinging.

Do you think the Red Sox could add Stacey Nuveman to the 40 man roster come sept. 1st? she calls a great game too, and probably couldn't hit any worse. And her thighs are in fact bigger, and more muscular than the captain's.

For those of you not familiar with softball, not being able to crack triple digits in kilometers an hour, is slightly better than Wakefieldian…perhaps it could be referred to as Foulke-esque.
And despite that seeming limitation Osterman tossed the second straight no-hitter in these Olympics against one of the better offenses in the tournament.
I won’t bore you any further tonight with softball in what was a mostly ho-hum game.

On to indoor volleyball, where the Venezuelan women appear to be wearing speedo bottoms for uniforms; more analysis coming shortly.

Why don’t you see more fingers broken in volleyball games, these folks just hammer the ball.

In no way shape or form do the colors yellow, or teal appear in the Australian flag, nor do I think of those colors when I think down under, yet their Olympic committee insists every four years upon those colors for uniforms.

Forest Gump where art though?
He is apparently not walking through that door for the US table tennis team. (So I don’t offend the lone table tennis fan, who corrects me in the comments, I wont call it ping pong)

The US women, are currently taking a beating from the representatives from the Singapore. I think it would have been less painful to our civic pride if it had involved a cane and the Singapore government.

Were it not for the announcers telling us which team was which, I would not have been able to discern the Americans from the Singaporeans.

Roommate: “Look at them they’re all Asian, isn’t that stereotypical?”
Me: “No, it’s not a stereotype if it’s true”

Somewhere Steve “Snapper” Jones finds it abhorrent that the US is not breeding it’s own table tennis players. No word yet on whether he thinks of our athletes as traitors to their own country, whatever it may be.

Upon further review, Bill Clement is once again leading the commentary. After trap shooting, Sunday and Table Tennis today, I think we can safely assume that NBC does not think very highly of its lead hockey announcer, nor do they place much importance on keeping him happy.



In any event, I am watching more midget boxing involving what I can only assume, because generalizations are fun, to be a smarmy Frenchman, and a boxer from Uzbekistan.
Not since I was eight years old, riveted to CNN have I rooted so fervently for the citizens of Uzbekistan.
France Sucks…

And its off to bed for a bit before returning shortly for what should be an exciting Women's basektball showdown between the US and Mali and just four short hours.